I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to truly admit to myself that I am bi. The thought terrifies me. Fitting in at Grammar was hard enough, and to question my sexuality would have led to another target on my back.
In order to fit in or to seem cool, you use those same homophobic slurs you hate against others. You actively try and date girls, to show that you must be straight. Every action you take is meticulously planned so no one could ever suspect that something is “wrong” with you, even though you are perfectly normal and it is fine to see men as attractive.
I’m so sorry for the homophobic slurs I used against others, I was just trying to fit in, but that’s no excuse. I didn’t need to use those words, it didn’t help me seem cool, and it just hurt others and myself.
Please, don’t make the same mistake I did.